300x250 AD TOP

2016 Eyes on the Ring. Powered by Blogger.

Contact the EOTR Staff


Email *

Message *

EOTR Archive

Recent Posts


EOTR on Twitter

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Tagged under:

ROH Review: 12/20/14

Ring Of Honor Wrestling Review 12/20/14
By Nathan Neumann @Headliner5 on Twitter

Hello Eyes On The Ring readers and welcome to yet another Ring Of Honor Wrestling review where I bring you all things Honor. This week’s show was really good and featured one of the best TV matches I have seen from ROH in quite some time so lets get to it shall we?

Things kick off right away in the arena where Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino welcome us to the show. Roderick Strong’s theme song plays as we go to the ring for our first match of the night.  

Match 1
Roderick Strong vs. Papadon

Result: Roderick Strong defeats Papadon via pinfall after End Of Heartache

Thoughts: This was Papadon’s Ring of Honor debut. I have heard a lot about Papadon in the past, but this is the first time I was able to see him wrestle. The match starts and Roderick wastes no time trying to put his opponent away by hitting Papadon with a drop kick to pick up a near fall. Papadon recovers and hits a turnbuckle-assisted DDT to pick up a two count. The finish came when Roderick Strong defeats Papadon with the End Of Heartache. Good match and I want to see more out of Papadon because he’ll be a great addition to the roster.

Rating: **1/4

After a commercial break, we are treated to an appearance by former ROH World Champion Michael Elgin complete with new theme music. Elgin makes a pre-match entrance for his match with Hanson, which is up next. Before the match starts, Elgin cuts a promo and says that his issue tonight is not with the fans or even with his opponent tonight but Ring of Honor itself. This could be interesting going forward...but it has a risk of getting tiresome very fast but we shall see.

Match 2
Michael Elgin vs. Hanson

Result: No Contest after Elgin gives Hanson a double arm DDT from the apron through a table at ringside.
Thoughts: There wasn’t a lot of time given to this match but they made up for the lack of time that they were given by going at it and giving 110% from the opening bell to the closing bell.  Early on the match goes to the outside where Hanson throws Elgin into the guardrail.  Hanson then goes back into the ring only to come back outside of the ring with a dive onto Elgin, which wiped both men out.  Hanson would get a near fall in the match after hitting his signature cartwheel closeline.  Shortly after that Elgin hits a flipping leg drop and follows it up with a top rope splash for a near fall.  Hanson recovers and backdrops Elgin on the concrete on the outside of the ring before grabbing a table.  The match is deemed a no contest after Elgin gives Hanson a double arm DDT from the ring apron through the table that was previously set up at ringside.
Rating: **

Match 3
Will Ferrera and Caprice Coleman vs. Brutal Burgers (Brutal Bob Evans and Cheeseburger)

Result: Ferrara and Coleman pick up the win after a northern lights suplex/german suplex combination.
Thoughts: This match seemed hastily thrown together to give these guys something to do. Will Ferrara is better on his own and Caprice Coleman hasn’t done much of anything since splitting up from Cedric Alexander a while ago.  Brutal Bob Evans is a good veteran wrestler. but I just can’t take Cheeseburger seriously. At one point in the match, Evans slams Cheeseburger onto Will Ferrara who was on the ground, which picks up a near fall. From there, Bob does a ridiculous move to Ferrara’s arm that I don’t know what to call so I’ll leave it at that. The match ends when Ferrara and Coleman pick up the win after a northern lights/German suplex combination. I wasn’t a fan of this finish because I couldn’t tell who exactly got the win either way it was Ferrara and Coleman but this match did nothing for me.
Rating: *
After the match, it would seem as if Brutal Burgers are having some disagreements about how their matches have been going as of late. We will see if this plays out in the coming weeks.

Main Event - Match 4
Cedric Alexander vs. Tommaso Ciampa
No Disqualification Match

Result: Tommaso Ciampa defeats Cedric Alexander after delivering a neckbreaker on part of the ring, which had been exposed.

Thoughts: The match starts as both Ciampa and Alexander grab chairs; they swing the chairs at one another and the chairs end up hitting each other. Ciampa rolls to the outside of the ring, Alexander tries to dive to the outside of the ring to hit Ciampa but Ciampa is ready for him and throws a trash can directly at Cedric’s face. Still on the outside and Ciampa takes a chair, unfolds it, and puts it around Cedric’s head.  Ciampa then proceeds to throw Alexander head first into the ring post. Back in the ring and Ciampa sets Alexander up in the corner, Ciampa puts a trash can over the head of Alexander and then delivers three running knees to Alexander who can’t defend himself at all. Ciampa goes for the pinfall and gets a two count out of the exchange.

Cedric recovers and throws a chair at Ciampa’s face. Cedric would get a near fall of his own after destroying Ciampa’s arm in a chair. Ciampa recovers and goes to the outside of the ring where he grabs a guardrail, he picks up the guardrail and brings it in the ring with him.  From there he sets up two chairs and puts the guardrail on top of it. Ciampa then grabs Alexander and sets him up on the top rope and suplexes him through the contraption that he had previously set up. Later on Alexander recovers and dives to the outside of the ring onto Ciampa and follows it up with a splash on the inside of the ring for a near fall.  Ciampa recovers and starts taking the ring apart exposing the wooden boards that are under the canvas and padding (This is where you learn how a ring gets put together. kids).

From here, Alexander sets Ciampa up in one of the corners of the ring and ties him up with some cable so that he can’t go anywhere. Alexander backs up and runs full steam at Ciampa and hits him with a drop kick Ciampa had nowhere to go. Alexander sets another chair in the ring and picks up Ciampa for a brainbuster through the chair for a near fall.  The finish came when Ciampa scores a desperation neck breaker on the wooden boards that were exposed earlier on in the match.  After the match is over, the ROH doctors rush the ring to check on both men who just went through a war.

Rating: ***

This match was awesome if you have an opportunity to see it please do so. One of the best Ring of Honor TV matches I’ve seen all year and that covers a lot of ground.  However that will do it for me and this week’s Ring of Honor Wrestling Television review. I hope you enjoyed the read and until next time please be sure and check out EyesOnTheRing.blogspot.com and all of the articles from everyone on the team including myself. Also be sure and check us out on twitter at @EyesOnTheRing (Follow Us!) and Facebook at Facebook.com/EyesOnTheRing (Like Us!)
Tagged under: , , ,

The Neumann Scale

Ed. Note: We've gotten a few requests on how we score ROH matches in Nathan's reviews. Here to explain is none other than the man himself, Nathan Neumann. And, upon further review, we at EOTR are discussing an implementation of this ratings system in most show reviews from hereon.

Hello once again Eyes On The Ring readers and wrestling fans Nathan here as I have been asked to explain the star rating system that I use when reviewing Ring Of Honor wrestling.  So here it goes the breakdown of what gets what according to me. The star rating system was first created by Dave Meltzer of Wrestling Observer Newsletter fame to rank matches of importance.  

Everyone’s criteria for a one star rating and a five star rating and in between is completely different as it’s all subjective to whoever is writing said review. While someone may rate a certain match 5 stars others may give it 4 stars or somewhere in between 4 and 5 stars or something completely different because again this all depends on individual tastes as a wrestling fan, what they like don’t like, etc.

But, here is my breakdown of what I believe deserves what rating. Also, these ratings aren’t promotion-specific just because I put certain matches from a certain company in a specific category isn’t necessarily a reflection on the company itself but more of the way the match was presented.

I will start with the one star rating and go from there.

One Star (*)

This criterion is reserved for the worst of the worst. Typically, matches where you ask “why did I waste my time watching that?” when they’re over fall into this category. The matches have no flow to them, no real psychology, and just don’t work from an entertainment standpoint. I mean, let’s face it: if I am not being entertained by a match, then it will get a low rating because as I said earlier all of this is subjective.

Examples of a one star match include but are not limited to these types of matches.

Jeff Hardy vs. Sting from TNA Victory Road 2011 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V6ulxTRSDc

Here is another example of a one star match this match is considered by many the worst match of all time (Sharmell vs. Jenna Morasca from TNA Victory Road 2009)

Two Stars (**)

This is for matches that are a bit above a one star rating, but still aren’t very good.  These matches typically no flow to them and no emotion from the crowd. If you want an example of this, watch a Michael Bennett match. There is no emotion. These matches can be good, but often include matches that have a few blown spots within (or matches where the execution of said match is very poor). Also, they’re nothing really to write home about, but I digress.

Three Stars (***)

This is your middle of the road match these aren’t considered either good or bad. But, depending on who is watching, one may sway their opinion either way to make up their mind as to the match’s quality. A good example would be a recent match that took place on ROH Television between Matt Sydal and AJ Styles for instance I only gave this match ** and ¾ stars but other outlets (such as Voices Of Wrestling) gave the match *** the match was good no matter what rating you were to give it but in the world of wrestling, you will get differing opinions from different people as seen above.

Above is a link to a highlight video of said match.

Four Stars (****)

This rating is reserved for matches that, by many standards, are very good matches, are very emotional and where the wrestlers both put in quality work. Sometimes, a match can get a lower rating due to one wrestler in a match not doing as much as another wrestler in the same match. Take for instance Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero Mask vs. Title match at WCW Halloween Havoc 1997 which is considered to by many to be the greatest WCW match ever. I would probably rating this match higher than four stars (say, 4 and ¾) but that’s all part of the subjectivity. Either way, whether it’s a four star match or a 4 and ¾ star match, this match is a perfect example of that.  

Another example would be the finals of the G1 Climax this year between Kazuchika Okada and Shinsuke Nakamura watch it below:

Five Stars (*****)

This match is the cream of the crop. It’s a match so good that it makes you happy to be a wrestling fan there are so many great examples of this anomaly that I wont be able to list them all but I will list a few. Matches like these don’t come along too often, but when they do you know it.

A good example of how rare these matches can be for one promotion goes like this.  Dave Meltzer rated the first ever Hell in a Cell match between The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels five Stars this match took place back on October 5, 1997. There wouldn’t be another five-star match (at least in WWE) per Meltzer until July 17, 2011 (almost exactly 14 years later) when CM Punk challenged and defeated then WWE Champion John Cena at WWE Money In The Bank 2011.  

There was one match within this years NJPW G1 Climax that I personally would rate as five stars they are Minoru Suzuki vs. AJ Styles.  This match blew my mind, if you have the time please go watch it located right here.  

That does it for me and my breakdown of the star ratings I use when breaking down matches. Sadly, we will probably never see a five star rated match on ROH Television. Is it possible? Yes, but it being a possibility and it happening are two different things and being that Ring of Honor Wrestling is only an hour-long each and every week it may never happen.

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read this article and please check out our other articles over at EyesOnTheRing.blogspot.com check us out on facebook at Facebook.com/EyesOnTheRing and follow us on twitter @EyesOnTheRing.  So long for now and I’ll see you down the road.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Tagged under: , , , , , , , ,

RoH: Tag Wars Wrestling Review 12/13/14

By Nathan Neumann (@Headliner5 on Twitter)
Hello ladies and gentleman and welcome to another one of my signature reviews for Ring of Honor Wrestling Television. This week, we’re reviewing Tag Wars, a show which featured three tag team matches in the first round of a tournament that will crown new number one contenders for the ROH World Tag Team Titles currently held by reDRagon. Let’s get to it shall we?
The Briscoes were in a pre-taped backstage promo to open up the show where they talked about how they will be the ones to they will be the ones to win Tag Wars and will receive a future shot at the ROH World Tag Team Titles. The Briscoes want to become the nine-time ROH World Tag Team Champions (which may or may not be a wise move at the moment due to the fact that Jay Briscoe is the current holder of the ROH World Championship).
Match 1
The Briscoes (Jay and Mark) vs. J. Diesel and Jay Lethal in a Tag Wars Qualifier
Result: The Briscoes defeat Diesel and Lethal after Jay Briscoe hits J. Diesel with the Jay Driller and Marc follows it up with a top-rope Froggy Bow to score the win.
Thoughts: First off, there were three guys named Jay in this match and I wasn’t a fan of it. It seemed to create some confusion on commentary (rightfully so, because having three guys with the same first name in the same damn match just isn’t a good idea).  J. Diesel tags in right away and takes Marc’s head off with a lariat. Jay Briscoe comes in and delivers a forearm to the face of Diesel as we go to commercial.
Also, ROH needs to stop having their wrestlers do commercials.
Back from commercial and Jay Briscoe kicks Diesel in his (stupid!) face and covers him for a two count. Jay Brsicoe hits a top rope superplex on Lethal and both men are down. Double tags on both sides of the ring bring in Diesel and Marc Briscoe the finish came when Jay Briscoe hit Diesel with the Jay Driller and Marc followed up with the Froggy Bow to score the pinfall victory to advance in Tag Wars.
Rating: **
From there, we go straight into Match 2 as Jimmy Jacobs and BJ Whitmer take on Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian.
Match 2
Jimmy Jacobs and BJ Whitmer vs. The Addiction (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) in a Tag Wars Qualifier Result: Kazarian picks up the winwith a Kamikaze AKA the KIllswitch AKA the Un-prettier (a/k/a Christian’s finisher in WWE)
The match starts off as TheDecade attack straight from the bell. The match breaks down right away. Whitmer and Daniels in the ring fighting each other while Jacobs and Kazarian are on the outside of the ring. Kazarian hits a flipping neckbreaker on Jacobs on the outside.
Later on, Whitmer and Jacobs both dive to the outside of the ring to take out both Addiction members as we go to commercial.  Back from commercial and the Decade have taken control as they hit a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination that looked a bit mistimed, but it still worked.  Daniels throws Jacobs into Whitmer to make Jacobs spear his own partner.  Kazarian then picks up the win with the, allowing The Addiction to advance.
Rating: **1/2
Back from another commercial and reDRagon cut a backstage promo. They tell everyone that they are not impressed in the slightest with Tag Wars. And now, the main event.
Main Event - Match 3
Matt Sydal and ACH vs. The Young Bucks
Result: Sydal and ACH win the match via shooting star press/450 splash combination after Matt (Jackson) inadvertently superkicks Nick Jackson in the face.
The match starts out hot as ACHis a house of fire! He hits a dropkick on Matt, followed by a bunch of flippy-dos, before tagging in Sydal. But, the Bucks maintain control as we go to break. When we return, the Young Bucks hit a flipping neckbreaker/backbreaker combination on Sydal. Matt (Jackson) gets Sydal in one of the corners of the ring and goes to the opposite corner before running at him and hitting a handspring back elbow.  From there, Jackson holds Matt Sydal upside down and Nick kicks Sydal in the face.
The Bucks move to the outside of the ring and ACH hits a flying moonsault to the outside which takes out both Bucks. Matt (Jackson) hits Sydal on the outside with a tornado DDT using the ring apron. The finish would come when Matt (Jackson) is inadvertently kicked in the face by Nick. Matt Sydal hits a shooting star press as ACH follows it up with a 450 Splash to score the pinfall victory over, arguably, the hottest tag team in the world right now.
Rating: **3/4
That’ll do it for me and this week’s review of Ring of Honor Wrestling television.  Hope you enjoyed theread and until next time this has been Nathan saying so long and I’ll see you down the road.  Until next week, be sure and check out EyesOnTheRIng and be on the lookout for more reviews from myself and the rest of the EOTR team. Also, be sure to check us out on Twitter at @EyesOnTheRing and like us on Facebook at Facebook.com/EyesOnTheRIng

Friday, December 12, 2014

Tagged under: , , , , , , ,

The Potential Impact of a "Friday Night Impact"

By Jon (@BigJonDaLegend)

Dixie Carter and Destination America have made some big announcements this week. Impact Wrestling has a new logo and will be in a permanent time slot of Friday nights 9-11 pm. All of this is great news for Impact Wrestling to end 2014. Let's face it: 2014 wasn't the best year in the companies history.

The new logo is the most notable change to me. From a branding standpoint, this new logo is bold and grabs your attention. It features the 6 sided ring, and that is the one feature that separates them from any other company. Also the new logo just states Impact Wrestling, without any mention of TNA. To me, TNA is a very disappointing name for a wrestling company. While it may stand for Total Nonstop Action, it's merely a juvenile play on the term "tits and ass." Dropping the TNA from the brand should improve the companies appeal for advertising and ultimately him them grow on a relatively small network (Ed. Note: This isn't Ruthless Aggression or the Attitude Era anymore. Thankfully, more companies are learning you can be "edgy" without being explicit).

The time slot is a good time slot for them to stay on as they settle into a new network and attract viewers. Impact will not be competing with any other wrestling show on televisions on Friday. With WWE moving Smackdown to Thursday nights, and Lucha Underground claiming Wednesdays, Friday is all theirs. The only competition would be whatever is on the WWE Network and not what's on cable television. Impact currently can't compete with WWE in the same time slot like WCW did in its prime.

Not competing is the right course of action for them to take. Why potentially bury yourself even more when you have a second chance to build? Yes, Dixie Carter has made some very costly mistakes in the past. But, this is her second chance--and Impact's chance of redemption. From the recent news that has came out it seems that Impact Wrestling is taking positive steps to ensure its success.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Tagged under:

NXT Takeover R Evolution Preview

What is up with WWE and these long-winded PPV names these days? Anyhow, Speed on the Beat here doing what Nathan and Jon usually do for NXT--except less hilariously. Now, yesterday, we all spoke on the impact that Kevin Owens will have on NXT and the WWE, but let's take a closer look at the PPV he's slated to appear at. This event is looking more like "NXT Graduation" versus REvolution...

Tagged under: , , , , , ,

Tables Ladders Chairs...and Stairs? A Jon and Nathan Preview

We've made it. After a year of craziness, Daniel Bryan return rumors, Sting appearances, and CM Punk joining UFC...we're at our final WWE PPV of the year. As per the usual, our crack team of prognosticators Jon and Nathan have collaborated on their thoughts for this Sunday's ridiculously-named Tables, Ladders, Chairs...and Stairs pay per view. 'Tis the season to beat the crap out of each other, WWE-style.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Tagged under: , , , , , , ,

All Eyes On Kevin Owens

The former Kevin Steen makes his debut in NXT this week. Rechristened Kevin Owens, the Canadian-born wrestler is prepped to take the WWE Universe by storm. But, will his debut sizzle or fizzle? Join True God, Speed on the Beat, Jon, CJ, Nathan and Peagle in an EOTR roundtable of sorts on Owens.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Tagged under:

Chris Jericho Returns...Again

Speed on the Beat here with the thoughts you don't want, but the thoughts you need, on professional wrestling. If you missed RAW--or the spoilers/recaps--last night, you missed a couple things. Charlotte (Flair) made her main-roster debut, Roman Reigns was named Superstar of the Year, and Chris Jericho is returning, yet again, next week (yes, I'm aware that it's just to be, for now, GM of RAW for the night).

Friday, December 5, 2014

Tagged under:

Speed on the Beat Reviews: The Great American Bash 1991

No one is safe from "Was It Really That Bad?" Review, let's get that out the way now. I'll look at WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, TNA, ROH--pretty much wherever there was a crap PPV, you'll get my feedback on it. Today, we're going to go back in time, to 1991. In 1991, you could get a gallon of gas for $1.10 a gallon, Nirvana released their debut album, and we got treated to this show. This is the PPV right after Ric Flair left WCW--and right after WCW left the NWA. So, we knew it was going to be a bit of a let-down. But, was it really that bad?

When you've got this as a promo for your event, you may be off to a bad start.

Our event starts with synthy "goodness" and a long shot of someone walking into the Baltimore Civic Center Baltimore Arena 1st Mariner Arena Royal Farms Arena as it's known today in Baltimore, Maryland. Yes, I'm aware in '91, it was the Baltimore Arena. I'm from Baltimore. Anyway, this person gets flipped off by someone in line, gets a confused look from an old Black woman, buys a ticket for the event and makes their way to their seat. Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross are calling the action, and we are underway.

Our first match of the night is PN News (the rapping fat-ass above; I only call him a "fat-ass" because his raps are atrocious and make hip-hop look like a mockery) and Beautiful Bobby vs. the team of Stone Cold--I mean STUNNING Steve Austin and Terry Taylor in a scaffold match. I never noticed how much Austin at this point in his career looks like Chris Jericho.

A shot from the scaffold reveals a lot of empty seats for this event. Austin and Bobby Eaton fool around for a bit until they lock up. The problem with this match is that, like most scaffold matches, it's slow and pointless. And because New Jack isn't here, no one's going to get thrown off the scaffold. It also looks like no one really cares about putting on a show. There are lots of rest spots, lots of f***ery. The match ends when Eaton grabs Austin's flag, gets sprayed with hair spray or something, then they brawl underneath the scaffold.

JR and Tony speak on the controversy of Flair leaving the company with the WCW Championship (which would be a selling point of Flair's when he pops up in WWE later on in '91). We get a toss to a young Eric Bischoff (who looks like he's got more makeup on than a Total Diva) speaking with Paul E. Dangerously (a/k/a Paul "My Client Brrrrrock Lessssnar" Heyman) with Arn Anderson speaking on their match between Rick Steiner and Missy Hyatt. Yeah. This is a thing.

Next up, we have Razo--I mean The Diamond Studd with Diamond Dallas Page versus Tom Zenk. I honestly give two craps about this match. It was cool seeing Page and Scott Hall in a match together before they really took off in their respective careers. But, Zenk has the charisma of a frozen turd here. The announcers hyped up Studd's finisher, but he ends up getting the win with a suplex.

We then are treated to--OH MY GOD! IT'S OZ! Oz (Kevin Nash) faces off with the Damn Man, Ron Simmons. So, lemme get this straight. We're gonna give a hot talent (Simmons) who is a little while away from becoming the first Black heavyweight champion a match against the f***ing Wizard of Oz--who has Merlin by his side? In what sort of Bizarro World does that make sense. Sadly, the match is even worse. Unlike a lot of people, I think that Kevin Nash does have some wrestling talent. But, this is rookie Nash we're talking about. Rookie Nash in a get-up that makes him more like Piccolo from Dragon Ball than a wrestler. Rookie Nash who does more posing than actual--ok, that's pretty much Nash at any venture. The crowd is one of the rowdiest early '90s crowds I've seen over this match, as they start shitting on this match so...damn...much.

Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson come out, start brawling and get things started. Morton is joined by Alexandra York, a manager who--apparently--has data on every wrestler ever in a calculator-looking "laptop." The spots in this match are highly rehearsed. It's like watching a Divas match, but worse. This crap goes on for seventeen minutes. They start catfighting, stalling, and everything that you don't  want to do in a middle-of-the-card match. The match, thankfully, ends when Bill Alfonso gets hit by York's laptop, and Morton gets the pin.

Goldu--I mean Dustin Rhodes (I'm sorry. I sometimes I can't differentiate a talent when they're so well-known for one gimmick) and the Young Pistols (well, there's a name that wouldn't fly in WWE today) go up against The Fabulous Freebirds in an elimination tag match. Only memerable thing about this match was Rhodes hitting a bulldog/dropkick combo on Badstreet and Big Daddy Dink to get the win for his team.

Next, we get one of True's worst gimmicks of all-time, Blackface McCoon himself, Johnny B. Badd. Badd is going against The Yellow Dog (a/k/a Brian Pillman). Apparently, at this point, Pillman leads the crowd in chants questioning Badd's sexuality. I didn't pay any attention to this match. At all. It was sloppy, it was disgusting, it had Johnny B. Badd in it--nuff said.

Do I have to continue? (Ed. Note: Yes, Speed, you do. I'll let you skip the El Gigante and Little People/One Man Gang match--along with the Big Josh match--but that's it).

Next, after skipping the aforementioned matches (seriously, don't watch them), we get Nikita Koloff and Sting in a Russian Chain match. Can I skip this one, too? (Ed. Note: No, Speed, you can't)

Nikita Koloff is, these days, known for changing his name to Nikita Koloff and having his family on a Lifetime "docusoap," Preachers' Daughters. Back in the '80s and '90s, Koloff was an upper midcarder/lower main eventer who had feuds with Ric Flair, Magnum T.A., Dusty Rhodes, and more. This match, however, was kind of meh. For starters, it's a "four-corners" match. Two, it ended with a screwy finish.

Our first main event is the crap-show of Barry Windham (yes, Bray Wyatt's uncle) and Lex Luger in a steel cage for the new WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Just watch the match. Now, we know from the jump it won't win any MOTY awards, but it was...not that good. Oh, and Luger turns heel.

Finally, we get our "real" main event: Rick Steiner and Missy Hyatt versus Paul E. Dangerously and Arn Anderson. Hyatt gets abducted (yikes) by two Dicks. Seriously, Dick Murdoch and Dick Slater take her backstage. Afterwards, we see Paul Heyman take a bump from Rick's finisher and win.

At this point, I just threw up my hands, said f*** it and threw my computer out the window. Or I would have if I didn't have to finish this review.

I wanted to be funny with this one, but it was just...so...damn...bad.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Tagged under: , , , , , ,

Speed on the Beat Reviews: The Infamous Heroes of Wrestling

Hello and welcome to what may be a new feature on Eyes of the Ring, the "Was It Really That Bad?" Review. I am your master of clusterf***, Speed on the Beat. Today, we'll take a look at a PPV considered by many to be the worst of all-time. Yes, worse than December to Dismember. I'm talking about 1999's Heroes of Wrestling.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Tagged under: , , , , , , , ,

Speed on the Beat Reviews: December to Dismember 2006

(Ed. Note: The "amirites" you'll probably see are more parody of say, a Mike Adamle type who doesn't know what to say about something, so he'll throw in useless banter or try to make a catchphrase out of something innocuous)

In addition to being Hump Day, today is the eighth anniversary of what is widely considered the worst PPV in the history of WWE: December to Dismember 2006. Now, I won't bore you with the story of "WWECW," as you should already know that. In a sentence, "WWECW" was a clusterf*** of insanity and effectively neutered the federation. I'll let the good folks over at OSW Review give you a humorous look at the "promotion." However, without the trainwreck that, to many, began with this PPV, we may not have gotten NXT. So, without further ado, let's get into the possible lameness, amirite? Please keep in mind that I'm reviewing the Network edition of the show.

The PPV starts with a promo typing the main event, which was solidly produced (even though the voice over spoiled the show from the effin' jump). From the opening promo, we're treated to...fireworks and Drowning Pool. It's not really off to a great start, amirite? Taz(z) and Joey Styles kick things off, then toss it over to the Spanish Announcing Table. In other words, everything that was ECW has been meshed into what is WWE at the time, effectively giving the original ECW a one-finger salute.

Our first match of the night is Johnny Nitro and Joey Mercury versus The Hardys.

The Hardy Boyz vs MNM by ChrisRedfeild (support the official release...I guess?)

For a PPV that's supposed to be ECW-centric, we get a lot of WWE in it, even more than the OG One Night Stand PPVs. I forgot how over-the-top the MNM intro was (it went on for about three minutes). It's like a Ruthless Aggression version of Miz and Mizdow, except I'd take "AWWWWEEESOME!!! I CAME TO PLAY!" a million times over the inanely repetitive guitar riffs of the MNM theme.

Mercury and Matt Hardy start off. And right away, we're given a stalling stare-off. If this is the match that's supposed to start the crowd off hot, it isn't right now. Lots of headlocks and the like, lots of Taz(z) gawking over Melina. Both teams run into the ring, and we're given even more stalling. Y'know how people say crowds these days are dead? Tell them to watch the crowd in this match. People pop for maybe three seconds about any move/momentum shift. It really seems like the crowd noise is being piped in, but I could be wrong. After some back and forths, near falls, some outside-the-ring schmozzing (including Nitro catapulting over the top rope), and more, this match finally ends after about twenty minutes. How? MNM get knocked out and piled on top of each other, due to a Matt Hardy double top-rope neckbreaker (a pretty cool spot, amirite). Jeff hits a swanton bomb and gets the pin. This match lasts 22:33, which was only two minutes less than the main event. But, even in all that, not too much happened. It was a standard match, with standard Hardy and Nitro (later, of course, John Morrison) tropes.

Next up? Balls Mahoney versus Matt Striker. Let's note, before we get into this, that this is the only match where an ECW original won that was shown. Stevie Richards won in a dark match and Kevin Thorn was part of the New Breed. Now, this match was almost Santino meets Heel Khali levels of sadness, even though Balls actually could go at this point still. It was a comedy match where Balls Mahoney practically squashed Striker and his face-on-his-ass ass.

A face which screams "E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!," amirite?

The crowd was even more silent for this match. The match ends in 7:12 with Mahoney hitting his finisher and getting the pin. The announcing team tries to make me interested in this match, but it's just not hitting for anything. I get that Striker's gimmick was that he was a "teacher," would spank people if they didn't follow his rules, and so on. But, for Pete's sake. This match should've been left off, as it killed any sort of heat the opening segment had (save for portions of the crowd chanting "BALLS!" at each of Mahoney's signature punches). Hell, I would've rather'd seen Taz(z) get out there for five seconds and submit Jerry Lawler again like at ONS '06.

We're given a promo where Sabu is taken out of the main event. This is yet another sign of just sheer clusterf***iness. Sabu, an ECW Original, one of the guys who made this event possible (without Sabu and other originals, you'd have no ECW to butcher, WWE), is taken out of the event. Fans start chanting "bullsh**"--and rightfully so. It was an unneeded segment. Regardless of the "story" surrounding Sabu's removal, it was unneeded. His replacement, Hardcore Holly, was even less needed in this event.

Another tag-team match follows this, during which the crowd starts chanting for TNA. That's how bad this event's going. Now, TNA between 2004 and 2009 was actually pretty damn great. However, having your fans chant "TNA!" during a match where you've got some of your "new breed" going up against ECW (kind of) Originals FBI isn't a good look. Elijah Burke (ironically, later The Pope in...TNA) was pretty much doomed from the start, especially since this era of WWE already had its fair share of black guys they knew not what to do with (Cryme Tyme, Boogeyman, Marcus Von Cor, Maven, etc). Plus, unlike JTG, Burke couldn't even get sympathy cheers or become a meme. All Burke could do is throw legit punches and injure CM Punk.

Hey, look! It's German JTG. Wait, he's not German? Well, damn. I was misinformed.
Tommy Dreamer gets pinned by Daivari. That's all I've got to say about that. Now, Daivari is pretty badass in real life. But, having him go over Dreamer is stupidity. The match, like many of these matches, overstayed its welcome (even though aside from the opener and the main event, no match went over eight minutes).

How come Tommy never gets an Old School Raw call?
Kevin Thorn and Ariel (Shelly Martinez) versus Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly is up next. This match told no real story, featured so...many...stalls, and the only thing worth seeing in it is Ariel's cheeks. No, seriously. But, if you've seen her NSFW work, you probably won't even be awaken by those. This match featured some of the worse Diva work I've seen, and that's saying a lot. Almost no punches connect from either Diva and Ariel's Thesz Press was...just sadness.

Bewbs, amirite?
Sandman comes in, beer in tow, and procceds to beat Thorn. In other words, a repeat of 2005 and 2006's ONS events. I guess it, at least, got the crowd pumped up again. However, this went on for way too long.

And now? The main event.

Something's not right with this picture...
Just can't tell what...
Let me start off by saying that Black Lesn--I mean Bobby Lashley should never have spoken, at all. You know how Lesnar, even though he's a badass, sounds kind of squeaky-voiced when he gets mad? Lashley sounds like a college professor giving a lecture. As with this entire event, we're given another promo for the main event. Then another promo! The pre-main event promos go on for about 30 minutes. At this point, I'm really about to just say f*** this and go watch Total Divas. But, I promised you a review. The first person eliminated is CM Punk and Bobby Lashley won the ECW Title. That's all I've got to say about the main event.

Closing thoughts: I started this review with the hopes of changing peoples' minds about D2D. I thought that maybe, since we look at it with crap-colored lenses, that it wasn't as bad as we remembered. However, with the dreck that I just sat through, I'd only recommend this pay-per-view if you were waterboarding someone for terrorist secrets. Seriously. Jack Bauer has nothing on D2D. I checked out of most matches because they had a "who cares?" feel to them, and the ones I forced myself to watch, I found myself regretting my choice. Originals lost or got shoved into crap segments.

Now, the actual wrestling wasn't horrible (it was pretty damned bad, though), but it was a horrible PPV. No stories were told, nothing connected, and it just felt like the ultimate one-fingered salute to any WWECW fan--or any original ECW fan. If you want to get your wrestling fan a gag gift, find a copy of D2D on DVD and gift it to them.

They'll probably beat you to death with it, amirite?

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Tagged under: , , , ,

True God on the Vince/Stone Cold Podcast

So, by now, we've heard the Vince McMahon interview on Stone Cold Steve Austin's podcast, correct? It took over social media and captivated the wrestling world instantly. Here's what we learned.

Vince Is Out Of Touch

Vince also called out the "Millennials" of the locker room last night.

As the WWE product has changed and altered over the years, many would call it a regression. I personally believe that the in-ring work is at a high level, but the theatrics have taken a great hit. The lack of new characters being pushed to the main event is a huge problem. In the interview, Vince essentially took shots at his whole roster. Cesaro was spoke of and Vince took the time to call him "boring." Where would that be factual? Promo-wise? I'd say Cesaro needs work, but that's why you give him the mic and the TV time to work. The European Uppercut and the Cesaro Swing are crowd pleasing moves, and Cesaro has captured the audience with countless matches over the year.

Vince puts the blame on the talent for not stepping up but who can be of blame when the show is scripted and heavily controlled? Vince spoke of listening to the audience, but the audience has spoken countless times, only to be ignored. Cesaro, at WrestleMania 30, was over hugely and seemed poised to be a huge face after the breakup of the Real Americans. What's happened since? Cesaro was stuck with Heyman, lost matches, and was booked in the mid-card. He's been regulated to a tag team with Tyson Kidd, as of this writing. Vince also places emphasis on the term sports entertainment, but its apparent that his audience prefers the term " WRESTLING". If Vince was listening to the audience, he'd know that right?

Vince Apologizes To CM Punk

CM Punk, one of the most important figures in WWE over the last decade, decided to leave the company for a hiatus. He wasn't pleased with things and decided to go home. He was sent his firing papers on his wedding day. Vince claimed it was a coincidence, but makes a note to apologize to Punk for that. He spoke on hoping to do business with Punk in the future, but the apology speaks volumes. However, the question is, was it genuine? Or just a political answer?

The WWE World Heavyweight Championship's Value and Brock Lesnar's Aren't The Same

Hey, look! It's that thing that we haven't seen in months.

When Vince was asked about Brock breaking Undertaker's streak, Vince said it was the right thing to do. I don't agree, but it led to Brock getting a title shot against John Cena and winning the title. Brock destroyed Cena, then it became rumored that WWE altered his contract so that he could appear at more events. With Brock appearing at Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, SummerSlam, and Night of Champions, it seemed this might be the case. However, we haven't seen Brock since Night of Champions in September.

It is currently December. The WWE World Heavyweight Champion has been out of action for 3 months.

Vince's logic is that Brock is a special attraction and doesn't need to be seen all the time. There may be truth to that statement about Brock being a special attraction. But if that's the case, why does he need the title? Why not let Seth Rollins, a new main event singles star, carry it, since he's been positioned as the top heel in the company? The only upside of Brock being champ was to use him more often and put him against newer stars to create tough faces who may come up short, but get a rub through taking Brock to the limit.

However, that did not occur, and Brock has wrestled only John Cena (twice), Undertaker, and Big Show this year in 2014. The problem here? Brock wrestled Big Show, Cena, and Undertaker during 2002 and 2003 as well. Eleven years later, with the wrestlers slower and older, we got this—again. There is something wrong with that, and sadly, WWE doesn't see it. They don't understand. The fans would love to see Brock vs Cesaro, Brock vs Orton, Brock vs Bryan, Brock vs Ambrose, etc. for the title or just in general. Use that big name star to work with newer guys. However, WWE doesn't seem to understand that concept so we get rehashes and rematches. A fact that will not be ignored, however, is that the WWE World Heavyweight Championship currently has no importance. It is out of sight, out of mind for most. Brock has had a 4 month reign, in which he only defended the title ONCE. He has only appeared 6-7 times. At least The Rock defended the title every PPV for his 3 month reign and he's an even bigger attraction than Brock. I couldn't get Vince's logic on this topic but it’s safe to say this is a reason why WWE is in the predicament it is now.

Sting will be at WrestleMania 31

Austin brought up Sting and Vince gave a vague but intriguing answer. Sting made his WWE debut at Survivor Series, helping Ziggler get the pin against The Authority. Austin asked will we see more of Sting and Vince, in so many words, said yes and referenced seeing him at WrestleMania. The question now is...Who will he face? HHH? Taker? Someone new? Only time will tell.

Stone Cold hates the term sports entertainment

Nothing more to this. He just cringes when he hears it. I understand the feeling.

Final Remarks

I didn't write this to run down Vince, but I just wanted to point out some things that stuck out severely. I would like to think that Vince and the WWE will get things together come WrestleMania season. Vince is great to listen to and he gave a great interview, but man. Those points stuck out pretty badly. He has an interesting outlook on the world of WRESTLING, business, as well as lofty goals to be in competition with the biggest companies in the world. If you haven't listened, I suggest you do now.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Tagged under:

RAW Preview 12/1/14

Hey all, Speed on the Beat here with some thoughts about tonight's edition of RAW. Now, first and foremost, I'd love to see the A New Day stable come out on some "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" stuff (since WWE loves to claim it has its finger on the pulse of hot-button issues and is a biting piece of social commentary), but instead we'll probably get Xavier, Kofi, and Big E coming out like the Christian Hip-Hop Wrestling Version of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. At least they're not shuckin' and jivin' (yet), right?


Anyhow, now that that piece of social commentary is out the way, tonight's edition of RAW comes as somewhat of a precursor to the Stone Cold/Vince McMahon podcast airing on the Network tonight. It's also coming a week into another new day--the Post-Authority era. With that in mind, here are some things we can probably expect. 

1) We won't hear anything about CM Punk. As an aside, his t-shirts are pretty cool; especially digging how he brought back the "Welcome to Chicago Motherf***er" mantra. Wonder if this was part of his dealings with WWE, that he could start his own...Pro...Wrestling...Tees site?

Return...imminent, right?

2) Ziggler will be built up, hopefully not to be torn down again. Last week, Dolph Ziggler was the sole survivor of the Cena/Authority match (with a little help from THE STINGER!!!). I'd expect his momentum to continue, possibly with some more Cena leechi--I mean, "pairing" (yawn). Seriously, it really sucks that the only person to give a rub in WWE is Cena. This is why WWE needs to create more stars and not build-a-star, create-a-wrestlers either. Daniel Bryan is there (whenever he returns), Ambrose is almost there (unless he completely loses his command on the mic), Rollins is there, Ziggler is getting back there, and (for the sake of argument) Roman Reigns is getting there as well. It's good that we're getting new stars. I just wish they didn't all have to go through Cena. But, he's the number one guy, for better or worse.

Let's hope this isn't what's really going to happen with Dolph.

3) Something about The Rose Bunny. I'm surprisingly not as irked by this feud as I thought I'd be. It's low-card comedy. It's allowing Adam Rose to show more range in his character and gets him back to his Leo Kruger ways (kind of). Plus, the Bunny, while taking up a couple minutes a show, isn't taking up that much valuable time. I just hope the reveal ends up being someone that'll get a "holy s***" reaction. And, no, conspiracy theorists, it's not Punk.

4) A.J. Lee will respond to The Bella Twins. Look, I like A.J. Lee. I like parts of The Bella Twins (sorry for sounding sexist, but they still don't do much for me, wrestling-wise). But, for the past year, the Divas division has been dominated by two storylines: A.J. vs. Paige and Brie vs. Nikki. Now that they've coincided (it was inevitable), the resulting feud has been boring, to say the least. 

5) There will be hype for the Stone Cold/Vince video podcast. We may get a Stone Cold appearance of some sort, if you believe the websites. 

6) Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose will continue their feud. It's brought us great moments. But I find myself not really caring about the why in this feud, more so the "how are they gonna beat the crap out of each other now?"

7) A slew of other stuff that I honestly don't care about at the moment. Make me care, WWE. Make. Me. CARE!

So, that about does it for me. Keep your eyes on the ring and your nose away from candy.