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Wednesday, August 19, 2015

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Can We Not... Volume Two: A New Divas Women's Championship

By Speed on the Beat

Stop me if you've heard this one before, but the Diva's division is a laughingstock. It's cannon fodder. It's piss break central. These are stereotypes WWE fans tend to hold as "truths" when it comes to women's wrestling in the promotion. Now, today, I'd like to propose something. It may not alleviate every ailment that the division has, but it's something.

Can we not have the Diva's Division referred to as such anymore? And, as a result, can we get a new design of the championship belt? I mean, every time a woman's IWC darling/indie legend/WWE Fan Favorite Who Wasn't "Created" (A.J. Lee, Paige, Sasha Banks, etc.) gets called up to the big leagues, we're told "oh, ok. This is a 'revolution.' #DivaLivesMatter. She's going to be the one who makes those pigs realize that the division is more than botches, ass-slapping, and so on." And, for a while, it goes swimmingly.


Until the darling/legend/fan favorite turns into an, excuse my word choice, catty-ass bitch who screams and pulls hair (in other words, a Diva). So, I propose that we, like the NAACP tried to do with "the n-word," remove the word "Diva" from the WWE lexicon. Refer to these women as wrestlers, even down to the one who's only there because she's blond and pretty and looks good in pumps.

Next up, I love asscheeks as much as anyone! I do. But, asscheeks an entire division of competent wrestlers do not make. I love long legs, but the same rules apply. Now, no, every woman doesn't need to look like Chyna. But, less emphasis on the looks could go a long way.

Third, let's get rid of that godforsaken belt. It looks like my baby cousin just barfed glitter on a butterfly and tried to go all "edgy Lisa Frank" with the scribble designs around the word "Divas" and the WWE logo.


We do that and we're looking at a division to take seriously. "But SOTB!!!," you're probably about to ask, "what about the fact that the storylines suck asscheeks?" I've got a simple remedy for that. Try booking these talented women in storylines and feuds that don't just revolve around some guy, or jealousy, or high school "I'm prettier than you" B.S.! 

Last--and certainly not least--enough with the friggin' school-girl/rollup pins! 

Thank you Wrestling with Text for your awesome GIFs

Sure, we lose out on jiggling booty butt cheeks trying to wriggle out of the pin, but at least we'd have a way for women's wrestling matches to end in the WWE that didn't involve this foolishness.

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