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Wednesday, August 3, 2016

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WIRTB: New Smackdown Women and Tag Titles??

By @SpeedOnTheBeat 


Gather around, children. For today, we're revisiting the land of WIRTB on Eyes on the Ring. And, for real, we're going into the depths of hell a bit differently than usual. Instead of riffing the everlasting beejeebus out of an old school pay-per-view (or even a more recent one), let's take a look into the future and discuss the inevitable consequence of the Brand Extension/2016 Draft Era/The New Era (such a classy and memorable name, amirite?)


Because WWE, we're about to get a second women's title and (the prospect of) a new tag title that'll be exclusively on Smackdown. Because why squander the epicness that is Eva Marie faking an injury for nothing. Actually, before we get into the big show, let's talk Eva Marie. I've tried my best to avoid discussing her to not look like a cyberbully or whatever. But, even after training with Brian Kendrick, she still hasn't improved that much. My God, I'd take Cameron, all day, every day over her--and Cameron cares less about wrestling than I usually do. Beside, Cameron has dat ass. Eva Marie does not. Dat ass is important if you're pretty much there for eye candy since, you know, you can't wrestle your way out of a paper dildo.

Did I just type that? Yes, I did. That's how confusing the respective timelines of Eva Marie and Cameron are. They're probably nice people and Cameron/Ariane Andrew (since she's going by her real name again) has good intentions and whatnot. But, I don't need to see either one of them in a ring. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. Girl bye and whatnot. Don't sue me for slander/libel.

Anyway, we're getting a new Women's Title and (the prospect of) a new Tag Title on Smackdown. That's not, at its core, that bad of an idea. However, when you look at the Tag and Women's divisions respectively for Smackdown, you see two things. First, there's a lack of depth. Secondly, there's a lack of teams and women's wrestlers you actually want to give a damn about.



Do we really want to see The Usos have yet another snoozefest run? I don't. And I like The Usos. I give them crap sometimes because I still can't tell them apart. But, for what they are, they're cool. But, they're not a team that should be anywhere near a tag title match--unless they heel out and do it for The Rock or something like their daddy. Other than that? Meh.

Yes, Smackdown has The World's Greatest Tag Team 2016--I mean, American Alpha (they've even got the Black guy with non-kayfabe experience). That's something. They're cool. They're in now. But, Smackdown also has failed experiments in The Vaudevillians, The Ascension, and The Whyatt Family (I think). And yes, I spelled it "Why-att" as in "why can't they let Bray be solo/get a new league of monsters?" We also have The Hype Bros, I guess.

But, Mojo Rawley will never be a thing. I have Bayley going all Triple H and winning every title, men's and women's, at the same damn time before I see Mojo Rawley fully becoming a thing. And that's sad, since Mojo has improved since he first debuted--unlike some people.


On the Women's side of Smackdown, it's not much better. You've got Becky Lynch, Natalya, and then "the rest." But, "the rest," including Eva Marie is only 4 other wrestlers. A six-woman division doesn't make for interesting. It makes for us getting the same feuds over and over. In other words, it'll be how we got A.J. Lee going back and forth with someone for six months, then maybe losing the title to Paige--which led to a year-plus rivalry/frenemy-ship with loads of lesbian pollen. At least Sasha Banks versus The World could go over pretty well.

For a new era, we're sure getting some retreads of the past--and I'm not talking Shelton Benjamin and Rhyno. The only way I see these titles working is if the WWE brings in new (read: old) Women's talent (I never thought I'd see the day I'd want Nikki Bella to come back and clean house) and tag talent. But even that's just a stopgap--just like how RAW loved to trot out Sgt. Slaughter and 'em every couple of years. So, what do?

WWE needs to accelerate its push to bring folks like Asuka and Bayley into the main roster fold for the Women's division. And for tags? Well, just bring in some filler tag teams to help put over the focus teams.

As long as we don't have to deal with Eva Marie or the Usos winning titles, I'll be mostly fine. So, will it really be that bad? Ehhhh...maybe. Maybe not. Right now, I'm leaning more towards maybe (read: oh hells yasss). But, with a couple right moves, Smackdown may beat RAW in some ways yet. The key word, of course, is "right" moves, not "we're just going to do this because reasons and/or feigned shock value" moves.

-Speed

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