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Wednesday, August 2, 2017

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Eyes On WWE: The 7 Worst Summerslam Main Events

By @TrueGodImmortal

While Phranchize hit you with his 30 best matches, I'm going to switch it up a bit and give you what I consider to be the 7 worst Summerslam main event matches. Why 7? Because 5 really wouldn't be enough to fully grasp how many lackluster main events there are and 10 would be a slight bit of overkill. So 7 is the perfect number. Let's take a look, shall we?

7. Team WWE vs Team Nexus
(Summerslam 2010)

-Now, with this match, you might be surprised to see it here considering there are other matches that could have very well made this list. However, this is a pretty big disappointment. There was a plethora of talent on the show and on Team WWE and what a huge build up of momentum it would have been for Wade Barrett to be the last man standing and walk away with the victory. Essentially, this was the match we should have had at Survivor Series months later after the Nexus had run roughshod all over the WWE, taken the WWE Title and more. However, WWE refuses to give the new guys the momentum they need and ruins it with Cena going over and standing tall. Thanks a lot, WWE. Also, the Daniel Bryan return was pretty anti climatic and a bit wasted. An actual surprise name would have made this a bit better and more interesting.

6. Triple H vs Brock Lesnar
(Summerslam 2012)

-There are people who love this match. I'll pray for you poor souls. A match about 9 years in the making disappoints in every way possible. It was 9 years in the making, but 8 years too late. When HHH was in his 2nd prime during 2003-2004, and Brock gave a shit about having good matches during the same period, this could have been a classic. However, this is the most disappointing main event ever in Summerslam history. The others on the list weren't expected to be much, but I ordered this PPV and was expecting a brutal fight and a tough battle. What I got was one of the most boring matches and main events I've seen. I just kept on hoping for something good to happen and for some reason, it just never did. Brock wins the match by submission, but I would have preferred this to be much more physical and to see Brock win by pinfall and they move on from this feud because we got two more unnecessary matches after this one. Once again, if you love this match, I'll pray for you. It's awful.

5. Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior vs Sgt. Slaughter, Colonel Mustafa, and General Adnen
(Summerslam 1991)

-I was a Warrior fan. I was glad to see him back. I didn't mind Hogan as a kid. I was glad to see them team up. I would soon regret that. This match is just pointless, and it only exists to have Hogan and Warrior team up on PPV and have them go over the "traitor" Slaughter and his cronies. Honestly, the more I see this match, the more I wonder what exactly motivated the WWF to even go with this instead of a more lucrative Warrior vs Hogan rematch or even a Slaughter vs Hogan steel cage main event rematch. I'll never understand it, but it's the WWE. So, of course I'll never understand it.

4. Lex Luger vs Yokozuna
WWF Championship
(Summerslam 1993)

-Imagine you have a match for the title that seems to be one of the most important main events in a while, but then it arrives and well.... it sucks. It sucks badly. You've got Yokozuna, who wasn't the best in ring performer and then you have Lex Luger.... who.... who is Lex Luger. His name speaks for itself. What doesn't speak for itself however is the fact that this match was built up like it was meant to see Luger become the next Hogan and what we got was a shitty match with a stupid DQ finish and a hilarious post match celebration for Luger winning the match.... but not winning the title. Yeah. That happened.

3. Macho Man Randy Savage and Zeus vs Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake 
(Summerslam 1989)

-I mean, was there any doubt that this would make the list? I mean, anytime you bring in Tiny Lester to play Zeus and headline a show, you're in a very sad place as a company. The late 80s were a weird time as Hogan kept trying to resist losing his spot to Warrior and Savage, and this match was a testament to the nonsense of the time. Of course, Hogan and Beefcake win, but this is quite possibly the most unnecessary main event of a PPV besides Lawrence Taylor and Bam Bam Bigelow (which at least that drew headlines, unlike this one).

2. Diesel vs Mabel
WWF Championship
(Summerslam 1995)

-I don't have much to say on this one honestly. This is absolutely sad. A main event that barely goes 10 minutes to close out the 2nd biggest PPV of the year. This just shows you how horrible WWF was in 1995. To make matters worse, you didn't even have a monumental occurrence in this contest, as Diesel never hit Mabel with the Jackknife Powerbomb, which would have at least been a big moment for the crowd, who didn't seem very interested in this match. Diesel retains in an awful match and terrible main event.

1. Undertaker vs Fake Undertaker (Summerslam 1994)

-How does this make no. 1 over Diesel vs Mabel? Honestly, it's simple. This match was the biggest waste of space ever in WWE PPV history and I still can't believe they ran this entire angle. Leslie Nielson is out here looking for the Undertaker in a serious of "hilarious" vignettes? I'll pass. To make matters worse, the Fake Undertaker was a horrible wrestler and Undertaker had just returned from injury so he wasn't completely at 100% either. This was a trainwreck and an ultimate disaster, which is why it is puzzling they chose to close out the show with this piece of shit. Undertaker, you deserve better. Hell, Fake Undertaker, you deserve better than to be Fake Undertaker (well, being Chainz in the D.O.A. wasn't much better, but it was better than this). Summerslam, you deserved better than this main event.